The 8-3-0

Songs by Ian McCalman

The 8-3-0

© Ian McCalman MCPS/PRS

"Honest Poverty" (Greentrax 1993 CDTRAX067)
"McCalman Singular" (Greentrax CDTRAX269)

He was driving up to Mallaig,
Glenfinnan by Lochshiel
Heading for Lochailort
content behind the wheel
The road was getting narrower
the sign said slow
It's the Highland daily dodgems
it's the 8-3-0

There is a natural assumption
that A-roads are wide
Enough to take a car
and one the other side
Tourist information
will never ever tell
It's like driving through heaven
on a road made for hell

On a single track you can't turn back
the stories are all the same
Of tourists leaving Corpach
Never seen again
Don't go on the 8-3-0
Don't go on th 8-3-0

Whoever called this road "a road"
is telling little lies
The 8-3-0's a sheep track,
in very thin disguise
Italian caravanettes,
driving on the right
Meeting Wallace Arnold Coaches
in the middle of the night

On a single track you can't turn back
a nightmare without end
It's eyes ahead for David Coulthard's
waiting round the bend
Don't go on the 8-3-0

There's a man in the highlands,
the theory's going round
That he runs the biggest breaker's yard
this side of Mallaig town
You can see him in the gloaming
towing wrecks from where they lie
And he turns them into girders
for the bridge across to Skye

And it's a single track he's in Mallaig
and now he feels no pain
He's dumped the car he's in the bar
he's steaming back by train
On a single track you can't turn back
the moral's very plain
If you want to visit Mallaig,
it's safer by MacBrayne's
Don't go on the 8-3-0